Upon waking this morning, I decided to journal feelings. I haven’t done it in awhile, and figured now was a good time to update. I had found a new journal and decided to start over completely and have my second notebook for jotting this stuff down. I put my time stamp down, and started to write. Then I thought, “I wonder when I started my old journal?” This day a year ago, I had started my first real journal, and I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but if you took a look at yourself a year ago, how would you feel? So in honor of my one year journal-anniversary, here is the beginning of my first excerpt from one year ago.
08/11/2015 – “I don’t really want to go back to therapy or the hospital, so this journal is to my journey of keeping my happiness alive, while finding out who I am. So I think an intro would suffice. I was born Marissa Ware on 08/24/1998. Everyone tells me that I was a very happy baby. They nicknamed me the “Walmart Greeter.” I was always smiling, always happy to see everyone.”
There is a lot more, but I’m not comfortable diving into my personal stuff just yet. Nonetheless, this change has been great. I can honestly look back and say that I am in a far better place then where I was. One year ago, I was lost, scared, confused. Now, I feel like I have a better grasp on my feelings and who I am. It has been a long road coming, but I think I finally got it, and now that I am going to college in two days, I can walk in with my head held high, medication in my pocket, journal in hand, and know that no matter what, all the things I think are bad about me, don’t define me.
Where do you see yourself in one year?