Hitting home with those rough topics today.
A few weeks ago, after the Coming Out Monologues held by the NCF Alliance, I walked to the bay with my good friend Sofia. We talked about our depression and how we’ve gotten through it all. We both had our rants and chatted about what it all meant, and I realized something that night.
I am grateful for my depression.
I know, I know. “How can you be grateful for something that has destroyed you for years?” I have actually come to terms with my depression. It has made me into the person I am today. Sure, I will have my bad days. Everyone does. The part that helps it all make sense to me is the realization that this wont go away anytime soon. I’ve lived with it for a long long time, and I can foresee it for a long time to come. But the difference between me a few years ago, and who I am today, is that I have grown into a better human through my depression. I have been able to communicate my feelings much better than I did before, and be able to help others that need it.
I feel as if that has helped me more than anything else; being able to be there for other people. I seem to have the ability to feel others pain a lot easier than others may be able to.Through that, I have been able to help pull others up when they are down, and that in turn not only makes me feel better as a person, but lifts me up.
But overall, having those days where everything isn’t “okay,” is totally okay. It’s healthy. It makes you reflect and push through the days harder, and more efficiently. The trick is to not let it bury you. When I have piles of work I want to get done, social things I want to do, and I get hit with this wave of sadness, I do need to take a day off, and that is totally okay. You have to do what you need to do to make yourself feel better.
What pushes you to feel better when you feel down?