A Time of Firsts

I am so happy. I meant to make this post the other day, but got sidetracked. Anyway, I wanted to share with you all something that I have had on my mind for a long long time. As you all know, I have had a lot of issues with my gender and trying to figure everything out, trying to find out who I am. Now that I am on my own at college, I have a lot of doors open for me for free therapy on campus. However, I haven’t been able to find a therapist that deals with gender identity issues/LGBTQ+ issues. There was one that was recommended to me, but I couldn’t afford it. I started a GoFundMe to help raise money for the $120/hr tab for the therapist, and didn’t get far. But that did not stop me at all. I kept looking for therapists that were good at what they do, and took my insurance. Sure enough, while I was at my psychiatry appointment, telling my doctor about all of these things, how I was feeling, she recommended someone to me in her circle, and I have a gender therapy appointment set up for February 7th! 

This is what I’d say is a sign. I never thought I would be able to get in with someone, I never thought I would get this far. Everything seemed so bleak, but hell I got through it all. It may not seem like much, just getting an appointment. However, on my end, this is a milestone in my journey. Like I said before, most of you know my journey, you know what I have been going through and dealing with. But of course, there is something different when it is all in your head. And of all things, I appreciate this outlet so much to help me get what’s in my head out. I also appreciate all the people that take the time to read what I put out and support me to the best of your ability. It helps me more than you could ever know.

When it comes to therapy as a whole, I feel like it is so important, and it is very much overlooked as a healthy outlet. Sure, talking to friends about your mental health can help, and sometimes does, there is something much more helpful about seeing a professional. I know I still talk to my family and friends about my gender issues, but I knew that if I really wanted all this settled and figured out, I would have to see someone. There is no harm in that though. I hope one day we can break the stigma against people seeing therapists, and making it seem like a bad thing. I know people that wont see one because they don’t like people, or they don’t want to talk about their problems, or they don’ t think it will help, etc. Let me tell you, if I didn’t have my parents that made me go, I don’ t think I would be as mentally sound as I am today, compared to a few years ago. I remember my first therapist, and they were everything I could have wanted in a therapist. Because of them, I have a very high standard for the people I decide to work with. But I have real high hopes for this coming week, and what this new person has to offer. 

All in all, thank you to everyone for all your support over the past few months, and even over the past few years. Without all of you, I wouldn’t be where I am. I will keep everyone posted about how it goes!

#breakthestigma

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