Taking A Break…

For the past month at New College, we have this thing called an Independent Study Project (ISP). It is where we focus on a specific internship or project for a whole month to better ourselves through that specific task. My ISP is called NaNoWriMo, where I basically write a 40,000-50,000 word book in a month. Terrifying right? I have been trying to write as much as possible to be able to meet my word counts for the day. Everything seems to get more and more bleak as I continue. My hope for this project dwindles as we get closer to the end. It certainly is difficult trying to write everyday and not lose motivation.

My topic, specifically, is about mental health and my gender identity, and how it all meshes together. After all this time of writing, I am taking a break… To write more here. This journey of trying to write all these things has brought me to a point where I realize a lot of things, such as where I’ve been and how far I have come. When it is all in the moment, and you’re jotting down everything you have felt in the past seven years, it gets tough. You start to think, maybe I haven’t come that far at all. Maybe it is just another hole I am letting myself slip into. If you are a writer, and you focus mainly on mental health like I have, don’t fall into that hole. These past few weeks there have been days I haven’t slept, not only trying to get my word count in, but also trying to try and rationalize all my feelings that I have had developing inside me for all these years. It certainly is a great feeling to get it all out, but still. It’s all a work in progress. Life in general is… there I go! Rambling again…

Needless to say, it all gets better. I guess that is my main point in all the posts I make and all the things I try to elude to you all. It may seem tiring and upsetting right now, but it certainly does get better. I hope you all stay tuned with Miss Olivia, my new co-writer, and I, for all our future posts and endeavors!

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